Multiverse: Deathstroke

Chapter 242: Ch.241 Truly Impressive

The fight isn\'t even over yet, Deadpool is still fighting for his life upstairs, and you guys are discussing beard care?

Is this really the time for that?

It\'s so dangerous to get distracted during a fight!

Su Ming walked quickly to the doorway where Monarch\'s shield spell glowed faintly. As he approached, he removed his helmet, "What beard wax? Let me try too, my beard\'s been splitting and losing its shine lately."

That wax smells good.

Deadpool had a chunk of meat bitten off by a shark-headed creature, but he took the opportunity to shove his katana deep into the creature\'s eye socket and twist it hard. Blood and brain matter splattered all over his face, and he wiped his mask with a hand before kicking the corpse away.

These monsters were mostly shark-headed, octopus-headed, or starfish-headed, but Deadpool seemed to target only the shark-headed ones. For a brief moment, he could see a thought bubble above their heads, with their small eyes filled with despair: "Why is he only targeting us?"

Meanwhile, the other monsters, with different heads, seemed to be gleefully watching the massacre, continuing their attacks.

Why, though?

Deadpool couldn\'t quite remember, but he just didn\'t like shark people. Isn\'t that reason enough?

"As soon as I stuff your head into your butt, you can ask Mephisto about it in Hell. By the way, can any of you guys tell me if your skin can be made into belts or handbags? If you know, raise your hand, please?"

As he asked, Deadpool slashed through a few more creatures behind him, their eyes full of confusion as they died.

"Wasn\'t he only killing shark-heads? Why is he now cutting us? So sneaky."

But Deadpool didn\'t need a reason. A lot of the time, he acted purely on impulse.

Shooting and slashing at the same time, Wade was drenched in blood. By the time he\'d finished off everyone, he looked like a ragged doll, as if wild dogs had chewed him up.

"Pfft, a bunch of little fish trying to take on Uncle Deadpool? Did you guys know I was once on the cover of Time magazine?" Deadpool pulled up his mask to spit out a bloodied gob of phlegm and kicked at the nearby corpses, "Time magazine, you know? Only the coolest, most badass humans make it on the cover. That means I\'m super badass, and you guys... well, now you\'re just dead ass."

After ranting a bit, Deadpool moved on. He dragged a few corpses together, stacking them up to form a seat so he could take a brief rest.

After killing so many, his wrists were a little tired.

Sitting on a pile of bodies, feeling the slickness beneath him, he ignored it and pulled out a white medical mask, pretending to be a doctor as he spoke to his \'audience.\'

"A lot of people know that athletes suffer from joint issues, like tennis elbow and ligament strains, but us mercenaries have similar problems. When you kill too many people at once, you might develop \'killer\'s elbow,\' a condition where your hands feel sore and itchy, making you want to keep slicing people. When it gets really bad, you even start cutting yourself. Slade has a severe case of it... Wait, what? They\'re gone? How could they just leave adorable ol\' me behind? Damn, they really ditched me."

The white eyes on Deadpool\'s mask widened in shock. He jumped up and clambered onto the nearby railing, peering down to the first floor. All that remained were scattered limbs and blood splattered across the walls in abstract patterns. The other three were nowhere to be found.

"Could this be... a dine and dash?"

In his mind, a hallucination appeared: Su Ming, leaning out of an old car, waving goodbye while the trunk was filled with money. The car sped away, leaving only coins scattered in its wake and Su Ming\'s booming laughter behind.

Deadpool leapt from the second floor, and with a crack, his knee dislocated. He casually popped it back into place and dashed out the door.

He found the trio squatting in the hallway outside, using flashlights to groom their beards.

Deadpool\'s eye twitched. He knew he could be unserious at times, but just now, he was the only one fighting for his life. Those monsters had come at him in waves, while Deadpool was like a helpless soda can bobbing in the ocean.

And here they were... playing with their beards? At a time like this? Is this the \'Little Beard League\'?

Sheathing his katanas, Deadpool approached the group, took a deep breath, and asked, "Do you have any skincare products? My face keeps rotting and peeling, and it\'s lost its glow. I want it to be as smooth and firm as a baby\'s."

As he spoke, he squatted down and ripped off his mask, revealing his hideous, pizza-like face. Despite the revolting sight, he managed to give them a sheepish smile.

"Ugh..." The reaction was a synchronized gag from all three.

Su Ming wiped the vomit off his beard with a tissue. Having that revolting face suddenly appear out of nowhere was enough to make anyone retch. Many heroes had vomited after seeing Deadpool\'s face, and now Su Ming understood why the stories were true.

Su Ming reattached his helmet and reminded Horowitz and Monarch to forget what they had seen today. Both men, still wiping their beards, nodded in silent agreement.

"Ahem, alright, let\'s keep moving. With all the noise we\'ve made, some enemies came over from the other side, but none of them were strong enough to pose a real threat," Su Ming said as he traced a rough map on the dusty floor with his fingers. He estimated that the adjacent area would be another similarly-sized factory or laboratory.

After all, the conveyor belt had been carrying those non-human corpses into the next room, and despite the power outage and firefight, no real threat had emerged.

Even though the three of them had gathered and obviously slacked off, the enemy still hadn\'t made a move.

Were they being exceptionally patient? Or had they simply not noticed? Either way, the baiting tactic had failed.

"Were those freaks upstairs from Atlantis?" Horowitz pointed toward the upper floor, though the factory was now pitch black. The others knew what he meant. "And the ones on the conveyor belt too? They\'re all related, right?"

Su Ming quickly explained, "The underwater factions are currently divided. Those on the conveyor belt looked more like... failed hybrid experiments of Atlantean origin."

"What about those weird-headed ones I fought?" Deadpool chimed in, pointing to his battle-torn, tooth-marked uniform. "Were they the result of some Atlantean getting freaky with sea creatures? What did their ancestors do?"

Su Ming sighed. Wade was always thinking about these things. "No, they\'re more like mutants. The deep-sea environment triggered an X-gene mutation, causing them to evolve toward marine biology. Even though they all look like sharks, their genetics are entirely different. This is environmental evolution, not heredity."

"Uh, didn\'t feel much difference to me. A few slashes and they went down like the rest," Deadpool said, scratching his chin as he recalled the fight.

"That\'s why I said we haven\'t faced a real opponent yet. Their leader is likely still further ahead. Got it?" Su Ming stood up and wiped the sketch off the ground with his boot.

"Uh, yeah, I think I get it. So, just keep slashing and clock out, right?"

Though the door-busting and insults weren\'t mentioned, those were Deadpool\'s instincts, so Su Ming didn\'t need to emphasize them again. "Exactly. Now, get going."