Don’t Concern Yourself With That Book

The emperor hated Castor. However, personal feelings aside, the emperor still valued Castor.

So, it was ridiculous to see Castor being attacked so viciously. Moreover, once he was out of harm’s way, he exhibited his outstanding skills as the Crown Prince and the desire to support him must be overwhelming. Thus, the ones behind this couldn’t even bring themselves to be dissatisfied with his performance.

“Who sent them?”

I asked before instantly realising it might be a mistake. What did that have anything to do with me?

“No, you don’t have to answer. I’m not that curious…”

“The emperor.”

I froze.

“Father, the emperor, sends me these people from time to time. Either to kill me or to get rid of the people around me.”

The moonlight cast long shadows.

“He would wait for someone precious to me to appear and try to erase them.”

I noticed something I had failed to see before. Behind him was his nanny collapsed onto the ground.

“All I could protect was my life and my nanny’s.”

“…..”

“Because I was powerless.”

Blood dripped from his long sword. For this small boy, the blade looked too big for him to carry.

“Thank you for your help.”

Under the moonlight, half his eyes were illuminated and the other half was shrouded in shadows. I looked wordlessly into his eyes that were frozen in place.

His golden eyes did not hold any madness nor any swirls of gold. It was obvious what this meant.

“I thought I was going to die this time.”

As he stared at his collapsed nanny before looking back at me again, he barely mustered a smile with tears in his eyes.

It was anger fuelled by sorrow that ignited the flame. Castor, how did you manage to become someone like that… when you had someone like her beside you?

“I thought I wouldn’t be able to protect her.”

You had always been a monster to me. A bloodless monster.

Your nanny and you. Seeing the warm and affectionate moments shared between them, what did I think? I thought… he had started off as a monster.

And now as well, I could feel it when I saw the woman collapsed behind him.

Ah. He was a human once too.

But I didn’t want to see him as such. Why was I forced to watch his rambling backstory?

I didn’t want to be here any longer.

This place was.

‘The story behind his transformation into a monster.’

His future grief, anger, frustration and despair. Was I supposed to understand him? Wasn’t this the greatest form of torture designed for me?

I twisted my lips to a smile before slowly raising my hand. Before squeezing the chain with all the divinity I could muster. Castor turned his head as though he felt the chain move.

Just then, he widened his eyes.

The chain fell to the ground as I tore my flash away.

“You!”

“Do you know something about wolves?”

Blood dripped from the arm that was slowly starting to heal itself. Perhaps it was because I consumed too much of my divinity.

“Nanny, hurry and stop the bleeding!”

Castor, who had instinctively called for the nanny, gritted his teeth once he realised that she had already fainted. The boy strode towards me warily as though he was afraid of blood.

“What kind of brainless thing did you just do!”

Without knowing how dangerous I was right now. I let out a small laugh.

“What if the wolf that ate you and your family a long time ago appeared before you again as a cub?”

Well, I didn’t think I would ever forgive it.

If the person who killed me was smiling happily with the people they loved even if we were in the past.

“Hm? How would you feel?”

Castor who was still young.

“I hate you.”

“… What?”

“I loathe you.”

For the first time, I saw him falter in his step.

“Whenever I see you, I am vividly reminded of that day.”

It pained me to think of the people who died because of you.

Even though he was still young, I could see him twitch as though he could feel the fragments of the deep dark emotions that I was revealing to him directly. I liked that he was afraid. But he never let go of my hand.

“D-did I do anything wrong to you?”

It didn’t matter if this hatred shouldn’t be directed towards one who had yet to sin.

“I don’t remember. But… did I do something terrible to you? Enough for you to make that expression…?”

Could I hate the boy who was ignorant as to how he hurt me? No one could tell me I was wrong.

Because I hated him enough to abhor even this innocent hand stretched out towards me now.

“I won’t make the same mistake in the future. If I promise you this, will you forgive me?”

The frowning boy spoke pitifully and desperately. He then grabbed my arm and shook his head.

“Ah, y-you don’t have to reply me now. First, w-we should treat your arm!”

The moment I tried to grab him, light burst out of my chest as though it had been waiting.

I only managed to grab air.

***

‘Did I escape?’

When I opened my eyes, I found myself in a dark space again. I unknowingly buried my face into the palm of my hands.

‘I miss Amor.’

I hated the night and the day. I hated the sight of dark blood splashing vividly in front of me and I hated the night because it produced nightmares that kept simulating that day.

The only person who could bring sleep to my nights was Amor. But now that he was asleep, this darkness felt frightening and empty. My tree had fallen into a deep slumber and I might be withering in his absence. Nevertheless, the mere thought of him gave me strength.

‘I’ll come see you again.’

Because the fact that he was waiting for me supported me.

I looked around for my diary.

Fortunately, I spotted her not too far away.

“… What are you doing over there?”

Exhausted, I mumbled before noticing something was strange. Why wasn’t she coming closer?

I rushed towards the diary. Before realising. It wasn’t that the diary didn’t come to me, it was that she was unable to.

“What’s this, a wall?”

There was a transparent partition separating us. The diary was banging on the wall and yelling at me but for some reason, I couldn’t hear a thing.

It was then.

[Ashley!]

“Diary?”

Suddenly, I could hear her voice.

“I hear you, I can hear you! Diary! What the heck is going on here?”

[Urgh, this is… he’s blocking me…]

After seeing me, the diary banged on the transparent partition even harder.

[Can you… hear me? Can you? … Me? Listen up, Ashley.]

Like a radio losing signal, her voice kept breaking off, making it sound shaky.

[You, again, this, timeline… have to… go. Normal… Castor… time.]

“What do you mean? I have to return to the timeline where Castor was normal?”

I couldn’t believe it but the diary nodded her head vigorously. I looked at her before suddenly asking.

“If that’s the case, diary. Can I change the past?”

[Ashley!]

Bang. The diary knocked on the partition.

[Th-the past is…]

“Just tell me the truth. Will it be possible?”

Since I had just been inside, I could see that there was room for error if in any case I failed. I could only hope that the effects of my efforts would reach the present I was living in.

[…It. Ashley!]

“I can’t hear you!”

[It’s a trap! I’m saying that it’s a trap!]

Finally, I could hear the diary’s voice clearly again.

But that was not the answer I was looking for. Furrowing my brows, I wanted to say more but before I knew it, a white beam of light shot my back.

[I’ll break this wall down and follow after you soon! Get out of there as quickly as you can!]

With the last advice from the diary, the space transformed.

***

When I opened my eyes again, I was faced by grass and tall trees.

With just a pivot of my head, I was able to capture the landscape around me. Fortunately, I had a proper landing this time. And I would no longer be surprised by anything that appeared in this space anymore.

Looking down at my wrist, I sighed.

“… Does he want me to cut my wrist off again?”

My wrists, which had yet to completely heal, were once again shackled by this chain.

“Ha, let’s leave this area first.”

With a clang of my chain, I broke out of the forest. The road was not too far away.

And as soon as I walked along the road, I made eye contact with someone who was walking along the same path. It was a familiar figure.

‘Castor?’

But unlike before, Castor was now a much bigger young man.

‘Is he 18? That seems to be the case.’

That seemed to be his age. I caught him by his wrist before looking up at him.

“H-How?”

For some reason, he looked surprised to see me. I faced him with my brows slightly furrowed

“… That’s what I want to ask.”

“You look the exact same.”

“And you’ve grown a lot.”

I tried to snatch my wrist back from him as I replied him halfheartedly. But my wrist could not escape his grasp as easily as I thought it would.

“Do you still hate me?”

“Yes, I do.”

After struggling against him for a bit for my wrist, I soon gave up and relaxed. It seemed like it would take a while before I would get my wrist back.

“It hurts.”

It didn’t hurt at all actually but I just wanted him to let me go.

“Ah. Sorry.”

Then, Castor’s grip on me loosened slightly and he was now grabbing me while making sure that he was not hurting me.

“I won’t let you go again.”

“What…?”

My gaze swivelled to face him as I spat out but a loud voice from the distance swallowed my own.

“B-Brother?!”

A young man with blonde hair that shone as though it was melted gold.

“Oh my god! Am I seeing a woman with you right now, brother? This is the first time this brother of yours has seen anything like this in 17 years!”

The young man hopped a step back from his spot like a deer surprised to see a hunter.

“Brother… are you dating someone?”

I frowned when I easily realised that it was Julian. How on earth did he assume that we were lovers with this tension between us?

“My brother who has never paid any attention to the other beauties in the Imperial Palace… Dear god. When you rejected the Head Templar Candidate for the Temple of Beauty and Love, I thought you would be living alone for the rest of your life.”

“She wasn’t my type.”

Julian’s soft gaze turned to me.

“I see. So this woman is your taste!”

‘What utter nonsense.’

What were they on about? If I could get into a relationship just by grabbing someone’s hand, I would have dated Dane about 300 times now. I tore my hand away from his grasp with a slap.

When I became a templar, I gained not only divinity, but also agility and strength. Though I might not know how to use my body effectively, my base strength was that of an adult man.

“How unpleasant.”

Castor stared at his empty hands before raising his head and smiling. For some reason, he seemed to be smiling more than his child self.

‘Why is he smiling?’

But it wasn’t the smile fuelled by madness that I was familiar with. Rather, I could feel the playfulness and youth behind the smile of the young man who was almost an adult.

No part of that description suited him but seeing him now, I had no choice but to admit that it did.

“So, brother, who is this woman?”

Julian, who had unknowingly gotten closer in the meantime, asked curiously.

“It’s nice to meet you, beautiful woman.”

He looked no different from the Julian I was familiar with. Moreover, just when I was about to put my guard up again, something unpleasant came without warning.